Sonic's Quest for 7 Rings
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Sonic's musical adventure


Sonic was getting more and more aggravated with each passing second. He punched the walls until the chili dog that he grasped firmly leaked its residue between his fingers like a miniature fjord.

Tails saw Sonic in such mental anguish. He ran over to comfort him, wrapping his twin booty-cakes around his gorgeous ears.

"What is your quarrel with your present condition, my lovely best mentor?" asked the two-bunned fox boy.

Sonic turned to Tails with tears in his eyes. He swallowed the tails and left his friend buttless. "I weep because there ain't no '7 rings'!"

Tails noticed the serious issue. He then did a serious issue on the ground and picked it up to Sonic to eat of wisely.

Sonic munched and crunched and then came to accept reality as a goodly dimension.

"Sonic, we can change the future!" said Tails.

Just then, Knuckles walked in with a Monado. It was inserted into his left nasal cavity like Excalibur. "Ahoy, Sonic the Lovely!"

"This matter doesn't concern you, crooked duker!" Sonic then ripped off Knuckles's rear and stuck it in jail. It had to learn its lesson now: a piano lesson…

Later that night, Knuckles's flingmakers played Beethoven even better than stinkin' Schroeder from Charlie B. Snoopy even came with a loaded waffle fry. He gave it to Knuckles for good luck.

The hotcakey mu-wah on stage played elegant Beethoven that later transformed into "7 Rings".

Sonic wept tears of joy and then dropped to his knees. He popped in his airpods and started moving and grooving like a hot topic. His abs shone like glorious holiness.

Tails was angry at the abs and Sonic's attractivity. "I am the true hottest boy!" he roared and then he took a sword and stuck it in a taco.

"Nooo!" screamed Sonic as he watched the taco accept defeat. It had so much to live for and Tails just went and ruined its sacred legacy. It was worse than the time Brutus conspired to do ouchful pains to Caesar's kingly quarters.

"Caesar Salad!" growled Knuckles. He retrieved his bow and arrow and stuck the power infused with crocodile teeth. He fired and struck Tails's third bum.

Tail snarled at the loss with angry anger. He took out his chainsaw and sliced up Knuckles's tofu collection like a rude, ugly old person.

Knuckles wept for his fallen love.

Sonic did a cool spinny thing and then kicked Tails's whole life in. Tails imploded and the glory of his defeat called the sky spirits to release their chocolate smoothie recipe for all to use for McDonalds.

Knuckles then shot McDonalds with mechanical pencil lead and McDonalds had to shut down forever.

Sonic saved the day again.

Chris Thorndyke ran in and gave Sonic a big hug. "I love our relationship!" he said gorgeously because Chris had been working on his solid new six-pack for school.

Danny, Francis, Helen, and Mr. Stewart were there too and they gave Chris a high-five on his abs.

"When I was a kid, my life was righteous and filled to the brim with abs too!" said Mr. Stewart proudly.

Sonic smirked and then ripped Mr. Stewart's nose off. He put it in the chocolate smoothie recipe from earlier and gargled with a salt water and elderberry syrup tincture.

"Bruh!" growled Vector as he stopped by with a potato.

Sonic encapsulated Vector's entire hand with his lips. He swallowed the potato whole and released it whole 2 to 3 hours following.

"I don't know about you…" said Vector.

"But I'm feelin' 22!" squealed Sonic and he ran into Belgium and stole all of their waffles. He crammed them into the crevices between his hot, saucy abs. He then used a can of molasses to slather his deliciously shiny thorax with more wholesome flavour. Now he tasted like rainbows and friendship.

Knuckles agreed with Sonic's new lifestyle and went to college to become a magical chiropractor.

Mr. Stewart grew a new nose and joined the navy.

But the robots were running the navy.

"Not the navy!" cried Sonic as he got even smokier in his KFC area. Oh yeah, babe, I'm talkin' about dat swaggy hedgehog life. Sonic's abs were stellar like the charisma of Jet the Hawk's smoochable voice.

 **FIN**


End file.
